Bribery Does Wonders.

i am pretty sure my credit card did not lick the pussy of the terminal for a sum of $4xxx this month. even if it did, where are the fucking items that belong to the $4xxx. mind started racing, did my queen actually pull off a heist on me?

i don't think so. i was not drunk for a long time to loose my card to her.

i started pushing the panic button.

Me: "i would like to check on my outstanding."
Operator: "sir, your outstanding is at $1xxx."
Me: "this bills show a outstanding of $4xxx."
Operator: "sir. i am sure we send you the right bill."
Me: "so either i am blind or you send this bill wrongly. so which is it?"
Operator: "hold on for a minute, let me double check."

scanning through my statement again
...
...

statement for the month of JULY

i am a idiot.

i hang up.

i am a genius.

operators is a occupation for people with good listening ear, very good patience, and a tendacy to think that customers is always right.

meeting me for E was unavoidable, and him being late was unavoidable for me. he was a perfect asshole for being late and i was a perfect asshole while waiting for 2hrs for him to put the guilty as charge tag on him.

sending sms letting him know of my location alone at 30mins.
sending sms letting him know of my difficulties alone at 1hr.
sending sms letting him know of my situation alone at 1hr30mins.

i even fill him in of a special segment with me taking a short nap in starbucks with a hot chocolate on my table.

E: "i have know no one sleeping with a coffee in starbucks."

obviously he misheard me. chocolate is never coffee, E.

Me: "and now you know someone who does that while waiting. and thats me."
E: "seriously, i really do admire your ability to sleep now and than."
Me: "i was not putting any effort in it. "
E: "i could never knock out the way you did it."
Me: "when i get bored, i sleep... that's it."

i don't think he gets the message across that i waited for 2hrs.

yes, dozing off is as easy for me as counting 1,2,3. i do not need any pills, any sheep counting or any lullaby. Guiness World Record should run a competition for the fastest knock out timing, and maybe i will beat Mike Tyson in his personal best timing in Knock Out.

i have the uncanny knack of knocking out anytime, i do not care what you think of me, even if i do snore or even drool at that moment. you should be more understanding. i have a hard day even if it's early in the morning.

i love myself.

i am oblivious to everything.

E like PJ never fail to surprise me and he does it again later part in the night.

patiently waiting for my queen to knock off before we head for dinner and some alcohol. my queen never come alone, she is what i would call a package. i am pretty sure she is a avid supporter of Liverpool with thier motto "you'll never walk alone."

not long after arriving, she surprise E that we will be waiting for her colleagues too and that to me is nothing new. i grew accustomed to her last min notice, her last min changes to plan. well, she is after all being her ownself. no notice, no warning, no hints.

in a good way, she is full of surprises.
in a bad way. she is a time bomb waiting to be unwrapped.

treating the queen invited guest was a bribery. PJ and E couldn't agree more. a point system was slowly charted out by the friends. being only the 2 males there, we were the victim of senseless giggling, language not recognize being used. they were chatting about E and me.

i have female's sixth sense, mind you.

much to my amusement, they assume E and me would not understand malay. terrible assumption, it was priceless to see those ladies putting on a show of awkwardness after realizing that they have been exposed right down to thier undies after E announce his understanding of malay.

like i say bribery does wonder, my queen guest was giving more points to me than E, between E and me, i would be a better choice. sadly, he would score more points in subject i would be weak in. this is how much bribery can do, a dinner that cost below 3 digits to have the judges claiming i beat him in aspects he was much stronger at.

sorry my good brother, i will allow your credit card to lick the pussy of the terminal for dinner if your looking forward to a rematch but i am sure my first impression is there to stay.


bribery does wonders...